Hey!
Today I want to talk about a more serious topic that I never thought I would be willing to discuss on social medias anywhere... And that topic is depression.
Depression is something very personal to many people, a vast majority of those also don't know they have it. I guess I've wanted to post about this because I believe it is an important topic in today's society and it became something that is now more spoken about, which is great!
Over the years I've went through different fazes of depression. Sometimes they were mild and I just felt s#*t all day but I could still go about my everyday life as normal. Sometimes they were moderate, like for the past week, where I managed to smile and pretend it's all good but the second I get into my room or someone says something, even a word, that doesn't feel right to me, I just start crying. And sometimes they were pretty hardcore, where I wouldn't be able to go to bed at night without crying for weeks in a row and I would excuse myself from leaving the house.
Right now, I'm going through a moderate faze of depression. I've cried several times today and I am super sensitive to what anyone says and does. The worst thing about it is that when I feel like this I tend to want everything my way, and if it doesn't go like that I turn into a hugeness of tears, and I get annoyed at people really easily. This has made those people angry at me because they don't understand what I'm going through and I'm too afraid to admit that to them myself. Following up from that, I get more angry at myself for being like this and I just start crying, because getting arguments in times like this really isn't great.
Now I'm not saying of this because I want you to feel sorry for me or I want to gain attention. I am saying this for yours and mine benefit. I say 'yours' because I feel like if any of you are feeling like this, I want you to know that you're not crazy and you are not alone. I really hope that this posts at least helps one of you to feel that it's ok to cry and to be angry and to be an emotional wreck - It's not a crime. I also 'mine' because people always say that speaking about it is the best solution and even-though I don't really want to talk about it to my family/friends, it helps me to at least write down what I'm feeling and get some of those emotions out there.
What can you do to stop this and help yourself or someone that is going through a similar thing?
Well, sadly there's not too much, I wish I could tell you one solution that truly works in seconds and is guaranteed for everyone, but I can't. I can however tell you all this:
It's good to talk to somebody. This makes me sound and bit hypocritical. But it's true, during previous 'fazes', I have discussed this with my mum and I found that talking helps. If you don't want to talk to someone, I understand. You can try writing it in a journal or maybe even on a blog; just find a way to get your feelings up and stop them from dwelling inside of you.
Get a hobby. I find that at times like these I feel the least motivated to do anything. However, I also feel like photography helps. So yes, I may struggle to get out of bed and I may hate the fact that I need to interact with the outside world, but I think a hobby such as photography helps to get your mind off things.
Go outside. As I said, the thought interacting with the outside world may be dreadful, but the fact is you don't really need to interact at all. Just go out, put on some headphones (try opting for more upbeat songs) and go for a walk, sit in a park, sniff some flowers... Anything! You'd be surprised at what the outside has to offer. You can even take out a book and sit on a quite bench and just enjoy yourself.
And last but not least, give it time and cry it out. Sometimes crying can be good, just get rid of all of those tears inside you and see how much better and refreshed you will feel afterwards. Whether you cry for 5 minutes or for weeks, you'll get through this with time. And trust me, after you're done with it, you will feel amazing and really start appreciating life more.
I hope this post helped some of you and if there is anything you take from this, it would be:
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